A New Year, A New Set of Ideas, A New Start. New. New. New?

New Year 2010 started off at my house with waking up next to someone. Waking up to people in my house (No I was not getting robbed or anything of that sort). It was something different, but it was probably the best new year day I have ever had. I woke up next to my role model and cousin, Colin. He and his family has spent the night at my house on the 31st and left on the 1st. 'A great time' would be an understatement to describe the experience. It was a great way to end a year of pain. It was a great way to start a new year off.

2009 was probably one of the worst times in my life. We had all agreed that 2010 would be better. It was in fact better. It was a lot better. I find my self wondering why we keep track of the time in years. How much does December 31st separate from January 1st? Is it time to start over? Is it really time to start something new? Its just the months starting over, its just us growing older. Why do i say this? I say this because it is just the next day. It is just the next breath. It is just the next heart beat in this life of the sun setting and rising. People have these New Year's resolutions every single year. Are you just going to wait until the new year to do these things? Why? That is my question. Start now. Just go do it. Why must you wait until the date changes? Have a resolution now, today, any day. Why make your new year better, when you can make the year that is in place better? If we had a new resolution every day, think of how we would change.

You have to want to change, you have to want to have a resolution. Do we expect to change on our own? Expectations are something we have much of. They change as time goes along. I read this about a month ago and was very inspired.


"in life we have so many expectations. we think we know what a family trip, friendship, committed relationship, or career is going to be like because we have built up this huge story line with an amazing ending in our heads. we may have seen it on TV, or in a movie, or read it in a book, or just our wild daydreams, but reality is much different then our imagination shows it to be. even 'reality television' is scripted. 

we need to become a blank canvas, or a film not yet shot, to truly enjoy what we have later in life. we should not attempt to paint a picture of the eiffel tower before we have been there, it only leads to disappointment and heartache. what we have and hold dear in our head is just that, its in our head. when we project and fantasize how we want our boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife to be or act before we even meet them we have already ensnared them into a jail or box that they may never want to be caged in. allow them to be who they are, and fall in love with them for them. the more expectations that you thrust on them to be who you want the more disappointment you will live with day in and day out."
--- www.modesty.blogspot.com

My expectation: I am going to become open. Be open, become a blank canvas, a film in the making, and just truly enjoy life. 

I am all to often disappointed and full of heartache. Its because I am looking for something different than what comes my way. I think of the things that will really happen. I am a total realist. This is what disappoints me. Out of the ordinary can happen. A new mind set is what I realize needs to happen. I need to be the 'out of the ordinary'. I need to be the change I want to see. 

So lets start this year off with a blank canvas, shall we? 

-Kale